No Shoes, No Shirt, No Pants, Free Service!

I guess you are in luck because I am still very much back in the fetish state of mind so I will probably be writing a lot of these stories until I get it out of my system. I just came across this one randomly on my list and thought it was pretty funny as it's about a gimmick where you can only eat at a restaurant for free if you don't wear any clothing. This one contains mutual male and female nudity, naked in public and general embarrassment. Enjoy!

No Shoes, No Shirt, No Pants, Free Service!
"So dear where do you want to go for our anniversary dinner?" Adam asked.
    Gloria sort of smiled awkwardly. "Well there is one place that I really want to try, you know that fancy new restaurant Che Amore?"
    "Yes, everybody knows about that restaurant, and I would love to take you there but you know that  restaurant is ridiculously expensive. I mean it would cost us like a week's salary if we got the cheapest thing on the menu. I don't know how anyplace could expect to stay in business charging such outrageous prices."
    "Well you see I was reading a lot about the restaurant and, you're going to think that this is really silly, but they have like this special new policy there."
    "What do you mean by a special new policy?"
    "Well again you're going to laugh when you read this, I mean it's really hilarious, but they have sort of a new policy, no shoes, no shirt, no pants, free service!"
    "Wait what?" Adam said as he grabbed the paper that she was holding up and he started reading it. "This has to be like some kind of a joke right? Well that's a very funny joke. Apparently you can get your meal for free but you have to eat the whole thing there in the restaurant completely buck naked!"
    "No, there's no way this could possibly be serious, a restaurant where you eat free but you have to eat your meal completely naked? That definitely has to be one of the craziest things I have ever heard."
    "No it's true, remember my friend Stephanie, she went there last week, she got a total free meal and all she had to do was go to the restaurant completely naked! She even sent me a selfie."
    Adam smiled as Gloria showed him the selfie of Stephanie sitting at the table completely naked with her breasts just concealed below the table smiling and laughing. "Well your friend always was something of an exhibitionist."
    "Oh she's not that big of an exhibitionist, she's just very body positive, she goes to nude yoga and nude tai chi, it's all very tasteful and very spiritual and everything."
    "Well yeah but she is some kind of new age hippie naturalist, but that's not us, you're actually saying that you would be willing to get completely naked just so we could eat at this restaurant?"
    "Well you see that's the thing, I think it's a really fancy and romantic restaurant and, wel I would really like to try it, you know for our anniversary. And who knows maybe being naked and eating dinner in public like that will get us in the mood for some amorous times after dinner!"
    "You're actually serious, you really want to go to a restaurant where the dress code is naked?"
    "Pretty please, it would be the best anniversary gift ever."
    "But what if somebody we know sees us there?"
    "Oh come on, I'm sure that nobody is going to see us there that we know, nobody we know is wealthy enough to go eating at that place, so the only way that we are going to see anyone we know is if they turn out to be naked themselves, and then they can't exactly make us feel awkward about it."
    "Don't be so sure about that. I can't believe this, I mean can a restaurant even do that as a gimmick, offer free food in exchange for eating your meal naked? Why would they even make that a policy?"
    "I don't know, maybe they think it's romantic or kinky, or maybe they think it will drive up business. At any rate I am sure that if they decided to make that offer there's probably some legitimate business reason for it."
    "I don't know though, I mean a naked restaurant, I can't see myself getting undressed in public and eating dinner naked."
    "Come on, you were saying the other day that we needed to be more open-minded about other cultures and new experiences."
    "Well yeah that is true, but when I was saying that I was implying that they would be new and exciting and interesting experiences, but that involve us not eating dinner completely buck naked!"
    "Look I am sure that we won't even be there that long. We will just get our meal and we will quickly eat it, and then we will come home, and probably nobody will ever even know that we had been there at all. I am sure that we are not going to see anyone that we know."
    Adam was cringing at the thought of getting naked in a restaurant, that was not his ideal dining experience, but as he could see the Gloria was jumping up and down with excitement looking at him with that pleading puppy dog look in her eyes he couldn't disappoint his wife on their fifth anniversary, so reluctantly he nodded his head.
    "Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Gloria said as she jumped up and kissed him. "Now I have to go get dressed, good God what am I going to wear?"
    "I thought that we had to eat our meal naked?"
    "Well yes we take our clothing off when we get to the restaurant, but I want to look pretty spectacular and pretty fabulous on the way to the restaurant!"
    As Gloria ran upstairs to get dressed Adam simply shook his head. "Even when a woman is going to a restaurant to get naked she has to look dressed completely fabulously, I will never understand that!"
    Adam was actually rather surprised when Gloria came down dressed completely decked to the nines. It really was amazing that even when she was knowing that she was going to get completely naked, she had to put on her best outfit. But it was their anniversary, so it would make sense for them to get dressed up, even as absurd as it sounded that they would have to get undressed when I got to the restaurant.

    When they arrived at the restaurant they had to admit it looked rather crowded, probably because it was a weekend. As Adam saw how crowded it actually was he was beginning to get cold feet and having second thoughts about the idea of getting completely naked at a crowded restaurant.
    "I thought you said nobody was going to be there, this place looks pretty much like it is packed," Adam said.
    "Well it is a very popular restaurant," Gloria said.
    "Maybe we should come back another time."
    "But tonight is our anniversary, if we don't go tonight it's not exactly the same really. Come on we've already come all this way, we can't turn back now, come on be a little bit adventurous!"
    "Getting naked in a restaurant is a lot adventurous if you ask me!"
    Reluctantly the two of them started walking towards the entrance of the restaurant, and from the outside you wouldn't suspect that there were naked people inside, but then they saw a poster on the door that said naked people eat for free, explaining their dress policy.
    As they saw the maître d' he smiled. "So will the Lady and gentlemen be paying for your meal this evening or will you take advantage of our new offer and eat your meal in the buff?"
    Adam was about to speak up but he didn't even know how to utter the words, but then Gloria spoke up and looked the guy right in the eye and smiled. "We are going to be eating our meal for free au natural!"
    The maître d' smiled and started escorting them towards the back of the restaurant and into a hallway or some kind of a closet. "Please take off your clothing and place them in the clothing bags provided, and remember which number is yours. Remember if you want to eat your meal for free you have to eat the entire meal and can't bring any home with you, and you must remain naked the entire time you are eating it."
    As the two of them stood there in front of the coat hangers looking at each other they were both hesitating a little bit to get undressed.
    "Are we really going to do this?" Adam asked.
    Gloria nodded. "Well we have come this far, we might as well go all the way!"
    "Well I always say ladies first," Adam said as Gloria rolled her eyes and slowly started stripping out of her clothing as Adam very reluctantly did likewise. They then put their clothing in the bags and hung them up on the coat rack, and as they stood there in front of the coat rack completely naked they had to admit that this was a strange and new experience. They had never been naked in a restaurant or even anywhere in public before, now they felt vulnerable, and they felt afraid to go into the main area of the restaurant.
    "If the Lady and gentlemen will accompany me I will take you to your seat," the maître d' said smiling sort of an evil smirk as he made eye contact with Gloria who simply looked down at her feet and the two of them followed sheepishly behind him.
    Adam found himself covering up his crotch with his hands as Gloria did likewise as well as crossing her arm across her breasts. It was weird to be led through a restaurant completely naked like that with people looking up from their tables to go look at the naked people. They would be lying if they said that they weren't feeling uncomfortable at that moment, they really never expected that they would be doing a walk of shame through the restaurant like that.
    They were actually pretty eager to sit down at their tables, because at least they could cover themselves up with the tablecloth which they did right away. As much as Gloria wanted to be there she had to admit she was sort of slumping down in her seat so that her breasts would be sufficiently concealed.
    "I feel like everybody in the restaurant must be staring at us," Adam said as he held up the menu and looked around cautiously above it. They figured if they were holding up menus like that that at least if anybody in the restaurant who knew them saw them they wouldn't recognize their faces and probably wouldn't recognize their naked bodies.
    "You know I think that the lobster looks rather nice," Gloria said and Adam could see that her legs were shaking underneath the table.
    "Gloria you are shaking the table, for somebody who wanted to be here so badly I think it's very obvious that you are pretty nervous about the fact that you are in a restaurant naked right now!"
    "Maybe we should leave, I wish we could get our meals to go, but I guess that's not possible. I think that we should just order really quickly and eat our meals really fast before anybody sees us."
    "Wow once again for somebody who really wanted to be here and everything you seem like you're pretty eager to get out of here."
    "You know I thought I really wanted to be here and I do, but the actual reality of it, well it's easy to think of it theoretically but when you find yourself actually in the restaurant it's a whole other story!"
    The two of them continued staring into their menus, basically using their menus to shield their naked bodies as much as possible. It was hard for them to make a decision exactly to what they wanted to eat, so they just decided to select the most expensive meal on the menu since it was free anyway.
    When the waiter came and took their restaurant menus away they started to get a little bit nervous because now they were worried that people would see them, so they sort of crouched down in their seats trying to conceal themselves as much as possible, and trying to make awkward small talk, but all they could think about is how long it would take their food to arrive and how quickly they could eat it once it did arrive. And seeing as they had butterflies in their stomachs they were seriously worrying about the possibility of indigestion, and they didn't really relish the idea of having to run to the bathroom while completely naked like that.
    "Gloria you decided to come to the restaurant, I told you this place was great wasn't it," Stephanie said as she walked over naked. "Hey do you mind if I sit with you guys?" Stephanie sat down right next to them and seemed to be smiling. "Wow Adam I can't believe that Gloria talked you into coming to this place. I thought that you were a little bit on the uptight side."
    "Well it is our anniversary and I want to make my wife happy," Adam said. "Although judging by the way she is shaking the table and blushing and crouching down in her seat I am kind of wondering how much she is enjoying this."
    "I think that everybody is nervous the first time, but I've been here a couple of times, and you get used to it pretty quickly," Stephanie said. "And I know you think I am an exhibitionist but that's not the thing, the thing is that I am just very comfortable in my own skin and very body positive, and I think that you could take a few lessons from me."
    "What I don't understand is why any restaurant would have this as a gimmick, and strangely enough it seems like there is a lot of people who are partaking," Adam said as he couldn't help but stare at a couple of the people at the other tables including some rather attractive looking women, who were a lot more comfortable looking than he and Gloria were.
    "Yeah but if you look around you'll realize that most people are just casually chatting and eating their meals, and I think that once you get over the weird feeling of the initial part about being naked in a restaurant you will realize it doesn't really feel as strange as you thought it would," Stephanie said. "You just want to make sure that you don't get any food on you because then the food will be on your naked body and you don't want to get hot food on your naked bits and whatnot. Trust me I am speaking from experience, as I learned that the hard way."
    Adam noticed that that moment that he was getting a hard on from all of the naked women around him. He didn't want Gloria to know that, so he tried to be really discreet about it. Luckily he was concealed underneath the tablecloth, so it wasn't like they were exposed to the maximum degree, but it was still obvious that they were naked and eating naked in a restaurant.
    "You know I want to use the claw cracker on this lobster but I don't want to rip the lobster tail apart because then everybody will get a good look at my boobs," Gloria said as Adam helped her to tear apart her lobster because at least he wouldn't be finding it as revealing as she would be.
    "So how do you think the food is?" Stephanie said as she stuffed her face with all manner of meals. There was something about watching a woman sitting there completely naked stuffing her face that was rather comical to Adam, but he tried not to laugh because he didn't want to make Stephanie feel uncomfortable.
    "Actually I think the food is pretty good, it really is as good as it was hyped up, I'm pretty glad that we came here honestly," Gloria said.
    "You know I feel like the meal actually tastes better because we had to bear our naked bodies in order to get that meal," Stephanie said. "But I know you're just going to say that I'm a wonton exhibitionist with no inhibitions whatsoever. But there is something about eating a meal naked that somehow enhances the experience of the meal, I can't say exactly what it is but it makes the whole thing feel really primal, like I am a cave woman tearing apart my food in a time before clothing was even invented and when human beings were living more naturally with the earth."
    "You know that's a really interesting take on things," Adam said and he had to admit it really was a rather funny take on things.
    "And I think that the great thing is that we didn't even run into anybody that we know," Gloria said before looking at Stephanie. "Of course except for Stephanie that is. I kind of wonder though what about all of those fancy dressed people looking over at us from across the room, I mean what's all that about?"
    "Oh those are all of the rich people," Stephanie said. "That's actually the whole idea behind the gimmick. The rich have the luxury of being able to wear clothing because they can afford the food, and I guess as part of the cost of the food is also the cost of the entertainment, so the reason why we are getting a free meal is basically because we are providing the entertainment for the rich people who get to gawk at us being naked. But hey you can't let it bother you, you just have to shrug it off and think to yourself we are eating this food for free while they are paying a fortune for it."
    "They're all pointing at us and laughing at us, this isn't a gimmick it's just a way of humiliating the poor," Gloria said as all of the sudden she stood up not even caring over the fact that everybody could see every inch of her naked body now, and that she was pointing at the wealthy people who were dressed and pointing at them that her breasts were going back-and-forth.
    "Gloria what are you doing?" Adam said not exactly wanting to get up because he still had an erection because he was surrounded by naked women everywhere.
    "Hey rich people, you came here to gawk at us naked, well go ahead, we're not going to let it bother us, we are comfortable with who we are and we are getting to eat for free while you are spending a small fortune to be able to have the privilege of eating with your clothing on, so if you think that you are better than us just because you get to keep your clothing on while you eat you can suck it!"
    Gloria stood there naked with her hands on her hips looking around at all of the rich people who seemed to be snickering on smirking and she started to begin blushing and looking like she wanted to sit back down and that was when Adam got control over himself and started standing up and clapping not even bothered by the fact that everybody was staring at him naked.
    As Adam started clapping then Stephanie stood up and started clapping and soon all of the naked people in the restaurant were standing up and giving Gloria a round of applause, at which point she took a bow and she was the star of the evening.
    "You go girl, that was the bravest thing I have ever seen," Stephanie said slapping Gloria five. And even though the rich people were still gawking at them and shaking their heads with that cocky attitude of superiority everybody knew that Gloria had taken a stand for the poor and the naked and she felt pretty good about it.
    "Will you be having dessert?" the waiter said.
    Gloria once again stood up, not even bothered by the fact that she was naked. "You bet your sweet ass we will, and it's on the house!"
    At the end of the day they really did enjoy their anniversary and it was probably their most memorable anniversary to date. It felt good to put their clothing on again at the end of the evening but in spite of the fact that a bunch of rich people were gawking and laughing at them they felt that they had stood up to them, and who knows maybe one day they would even come back, possibly for their next anniversary. At any rate it didn't take them that long once they got home to start immediately getting undressed once again and really making it another anniversary to remember.

    A few days later.
    "Guess who has gone viral as a bunch of naked heroes," Stephanie said as she showed them the viral video that somebody had streamed of them in the restaurant that was causing people to start protesting against the 1% and their wearing clothing while eating privilege.
    "Well you know I never thought I would go get famous for that, but hey I guess you don't get to pick and choose when you are going to make a stand, only that you are going to," Gloria said as she smiled.
    "Now that's the woman I married," Adam said as they kissed and he remembered exactly why he had fallen in love with Gloria in the first place.


I just thought this was an interesting idea as sort of like a gimmick, and I wonder if there would actually be any kind of restaurant which would ever consider doing something like this. But the whole story was just sort of the idea of you can eat free if you eat your meal naked, and I kind of wondered how people would respond to such an offer like that, a really exclusive expensive restaurant where most people can't afford to go unless they actually comply by going naked. But it also made sort of a stance that the rich are basically privileged enough to eat there without having to get naked to afford the meal, so it sort of becomes a little bit of a satirical story against the 1% and how they try to humiliate and embarrass and look down on the poor who have to get naked for their amusement. I don't know if I would go to a restaurant like that, or if I would have the guts to do it, but it certainly is an interesting idea. As I am not rich I would probably have to get naked in order to afford the meal though! 

And I think the title is actually what gave me the idea for the whole premise in general, I was thinking about all of those signs that they used to put on stores about how if you don't wear any shoes or shirt or anything like that they won't serve you, and I thought it would be funny to do the opposite, where they will only serve you if you are naked! It makes you wonder how good the food at the restaurant would have to be that people would be willing to embarrass themselves just to eat there.