Being Naked in Public Is Not the End of the World

I thought this was a pretty good story to end my second collection of naked stories on as it has an apocalyptic theme to it so the whole collection could go out with a potential bang! I think partially the inspiration for this, as the names of my characters suggest, is that episode of the Simpsons where Homer and Marge got stuck outside naked and were trying to get home without being seen, probably my earliest exposure to the idea of people humiliated by being naked in public as in so many of these stories which is probably why that episode stands out so clearly to me. Then from there I pretty much thought it would be interesting to see what people would do if they were caught outside naked during a nuclear crisis, made slightly topical because at the time when I was writing this story there was tensions between the United States and China over Nancy Pelosi visiting Taiwan, and whether people would be paying more attention to them or the fact that the world could potentially be ending, and it would be funny to see how somebody dealt with both of those situations simultaneously. Of course then it ends up once the world is no longer ending all of the focus and attention goes to them, embarrassing them and making them wish that the world really had in fact ended. This story has only ones naked, embarrassed nude male, embarrassed nude female and naked in public.

I do hope that someday soon I will get around to publishing my first volume of naked stories which was mostly not the stories that I have posted in this blog. Each volume is about 250,000 words, although maybe I should break them up into more smaller volumes. But I have volume one pretty much just needing a final read and edit and then I will eventually get around to taking all of the stories in this blog in making this volume two, and I think that this story will end up being the concluding story for that collection, but don't worry there will be more volumes to follow for as long as I continue breathing!

Being Naked in Public Is Not the End of the World
"If the US blockade around China and Taiwan is not resolved there could be the potential for a nuclear escalation and both nations are on high alert right now as it we are now at the greatest risk ever since the days of the Cuban missile crisis," the newscaster said.
    "Well if it's going to be the end of the world I think that we should have time for one more quickie in the office closet," Marge said batting her eyebrows at Homer as they both left all of their coworkers who were crowded around the television waiting for news of the most significant news story of the last 50 or 60 years.
    Homer had to admit that when he was horny enough that it really didn't matter that the world might be on the brink of a nuclear war and some type of global apocalypse, if he had a chance to have some fun he was going to take it as it could be his last opportunity, which almost made it kind of hotter, the double adrenaline rush of both having a quickie as well as the fact that the world could be ending. Something about the world ending made him unusually horny for some reason, how about that! The two of them quickly got into the closet and began taking off their clothing standing there naked in front of one another with a lustful look in both of their eyes.
    "I can't believe we're doing this," Marge said as the two of them laughed to themselves. "But what if somebody catches us?"
    Homer smiled. "I guess it's not the end of the world."
    The two of them laughed as they began caressing each other when all of the sudden they saw the door creak open and a hand came and reached out and removed their clothing from the closet.
    "Wait what just happened," Marge said. "Somebody just stole our clothing!"
    "What," Homer said as they both looked at the floor to realize that they were now stuck naked in the office closet.
    Marge peeked out the door and she could see Teresa holding up their clothing and walking off with it.
    "That bitch!" Marge shouted before Homer put his hand over her mouth shushing her so that nobody would hear that they were in the closet. "This is all because she feels that I stole you away from her and now she is trying to get back at both of us for you cheating on her with me."
    "What do we do now, it's not like we can just walk out of the closet buck naked," Homer said when all of the sudden sirens started going off. "What the hell was that?"
    "Attention all employees, due to the mounting crisis there is the possibility that there is going to be a nuclear attack so everybody should immediately go home and seek shelter someplace safe," an announcement said over the intercom.
    "Oh," Homer said.
    "Shit," Marge said as they heard the sound of all of their coworkers gathering up their things and leaving the office.
    "Now what do we do?"
    "We just have to wait for everyone to clear out of the office and then I am sure that our clothing is around someplace where we can easily retrieve it."
    The two of them waited until they didn't hear anybody else in the office before carefully peeking out of the door and walking into the office. They both felt something rather subversive over the fact they were now standing naked in their office even if everybody had already left. The taboo nature of it was somewhat exhilarating in a pervese way.
    "You know it's really weird being naked in the office," Marge said shaking her head. "But that's not important, we have to find our clothing and get the hell out of here!"
    The two of them looked all over the office but they saw no sign of their clothing. They looked over every nook and cranny twice but there was still no sign of their stolen clothing.
    "Where the hell did that bitch hide our clothing?!" Marge shouted.
    "Hey is everybody out of the office," a man said as he opened the door to see the two of them standing there naked. "What are you two doing in here, and why are you naked?"
    Marge screamed as she covered her breasts and genitals with her hands as Homer crouched behind her.
    The man smirked. "Well whatever you are up to everybody has to evacuate the building, it's being closed down for the day because of the nuclear crisis, people are saying it could be the end of the world."
    At that moment they both felt like it really was the end of the world because they had been caught naked in their office.
    "Don't worry we will be coming down shortly," Marge said as the man closed the door behind them.
    "Holy shit, now what are we going to do," Homer said. "It's not like we can just stay in this building."
    "I could just die of embarrassment right now," Marge said. "I almost wish a nuclear bomb would explode just so we wouldn't have to face the possibility of seeing that guy in the hallway at work someday."
    "Hey we didn't even know that guy, let's just do our best to continue looking for our clothing."
    "Our clothing isn't here, they are going to lock up the building, we have to get out of here," Marge said as she started looking around for anything she could use to cover herself up but there was nothing in the office that would be useful for that purpose.
    Reluctantly they looked out into the hallway and they could see that people were running left and right in every direction. They waited until they didn't hear anyone else in the hallway before slowly venturing out.
    "Let's take the elevator so that nobody will see us, our naked flesh jiggling as we run down the stairs," Homer said as he pressed the elevator door and the two of them got inside.
    "Are you sure that nobody is going to see us in here?" Marge said.
    Homer nodded. "I'm pretty sure everybody else has already evacuated the building and that we will probably be the last ones out of here."
    Just as he said that the elevator stopped and opened and standing there were two attractive women covering up their mouths as Homer hid behind Marge as they began laughing and got in the elevator with them.
    "Stress of the situation getting to you folks as well," one of the women said as Marge and Homer just stood there blushing and doing their best to cover up as the two women in the elevator couldn't help but continue giggling and laughing. "You know this is so funny it's actually distracting me from the crisis right now."
    As the elevator slowly made its way downstairs more and more people started getting on board the elevator looking nervous. Strangely enough none of them were saying anything about the fact that Marge and Homer were completely and utterly buck naked, but maybe a crisis of this magnitude was more important than the fact that there seemed to be two workers at the office who happened to be completely naked.
    Finally they reached the bottom floor and they came out into the lobby where several people turned and looked at them as they stood there still struggling to cover up and blushing intensely.
    "Everybody out of the building, everybody go home," somebody in the lobby said as he started pointing them towards the door.
    "That was brutal," Marge said as they slowly walked towards the exit of the building.
    "Hey they were looking at me more than they were looking at you," Homer said. "I just hope that if this crisis resolves without the world ending that we never run into these people at the office again."
    The two of them walked out into the street where they could see everybody running and panicking with a few people glancing at them briefly looking baffled or amused before running on their way.
    "I can't believe we are walking down the streets naked right now," Marge said as they passed a store that sold clothing. She went up to the door and knocked.
    "I'm sorry but were closed," a woman said with a smirk on her face. "Even though I can see that perhaps you are a bit underdressed and could use some clothing."
    "Please, you've got to let us in, we need to get some clothing," Homer said as the woman shook her head.
    "I'm sorry but it could be the end of the world you're just going to have to deal with it, it seems like you are dealing with it in your own way," she said smirking as she walked out and closed the door behind her.
    As the woman ran off Homer and Marge tried to open the door and they even considered breaking the window and trying to get inside but the last thing they needed to be was arrested, even though they weren't sure if public nudity was technically a crime itself, although if it were they could claim mitigating circumstances perhaps, given the impending end of the world and all.
    "Let's just try to get somewhere safe as quickly as possible," Marge said. "I think right now everybody is so panicked that maybe they aren't even paying attention to the fact that we are completely naked."
    However as the two of them continued skipping down the streets they could see that even if people were in a panic most of them would pause briefly to look at them and a couple seemed to be snapping pictures and smirking.
    "I don't know how this could possibly get worse," Marge said as sirens began going off.
    "Everybody into the subway," a police officer said as he looked at Marge and Homer. For a moment they were worried he was going to arrest them but he simply shook his head and pointed them towards the subway entrance as he smirked to himself.
    As Homer and Marge stood there down in the subway with all of those comfortably dressed people several people seemed to be offering up prayers, praying that they would get out of this alive. Homer and Marge couldn't care less about the fact that there was a nuclear crisis going on right now, they were just praying that they would be able to get home and that hopefully nobody would recognize them for the rest of the day.
    "Marge, Homer, what are you doing down here," said Jill, one of their coworkers. "Why are you completely buck naked?"
    "We kind of left the office in a hurry," Homer said covering himself up and blushing profusely as he could see that Jill's eyes were going downward as much as she was trying not to.
    "You left the office in such a hurry that you didn't even have time to get dressed?" Jill said laughing. "In fact why were you undressed at the office in the first place?"
    "Things just got chaotic, what with the nuclear crisis and all," Marge said unable to make eye contact with Jill.
    "Homer, Marge why are you naked," said Ned, another one of their coworkers as they realized that several of their coworkers seemed to be down there with them at that moment.
    "Maybe it's like a protest thing to protest the war," Jill said. "Nudes not nukes!"
    "I have misplaced my pants that is all," Homer said as Jill continued smiling and laughing.
    As everybody stood down there in the subway they couldn't help but notice that everybody was looking at them. However it looked as though the majority of them were so nervous that the fact that there were two naked people standing there right in front of them was probably a more minor thing.
    "This has to be the most stressful and humiliating moment of my life," Marge muttered to Homer.
    "Because the world might be ending or because we are naked," Homer muttered back.
    "Well at least if the world ends nobody will remember this next week," Marge said.
    The two of them began whistling to themselves trying the best not to concentrate on the fact that they were naked and trying to forget the fact that they were naked. They could see that several people were taking pictures and videos but they figured that hopefully they were just anonymous strangers so that nobody would notice them.
    "Kind of drafty down here don't you think," a man said as Marge simply bit her tongue and nodded.
    "If I knew I was going to be spending the day in a subway I would have dressed more warmly," Marge said as the man laughed as several people laughed along with him.
    Everything was quiet as people started awaiting the apocalypse. Homer and Marge couldn't believe that this might be how they were spending their last moments on earth, huddled naked in a subway waiting for a nuclear bomb to hit.
    "Everyone we have good news, the crisis has resolved itself peacefully with both sides agreeing to stand down," a police officer said as everybody began cheering and hugging each other.
    Ned hugged Marge as Jill hugged Homer, and they were both so happy to be alive that they forgot momentarily that they were naked until their coworkers backed off and started laughing.
    The two of them breathed a sigh of relief until they realized that now everybody was looking directly at them. Now that everybody realized that the world wasn't going to end suddenly the two naked people down there with them were the focus of all of their attention.
    "I think it would have been better if we had been hit by the bomb," Marge whispered to Homer.
    "Well at least it can't get any worse, we survived the end of the world," Homer said as a reporter came by.
    "And it seems everybody deals with the impending destruction of the world in their own way," a reporter said as she came over to Homer and Marge. "What inspired you to get naked? Did you get naked so you could take all of the focus off of the end of the world? Did you do this as a way of trying to make people feel more comfortable about what was going on by distracting them?"
    Homer was about to say something when Marge burst out laughing.
    "You got us, we did this whole thing just so that people wouldn't be panicking about the potential end of the world," Marge said laughing nervously as people started laughing along with them.
    "Well this is certainly the most interesting story of the day," the reporter said. "Couple gets naked to distract people from apocalypse, this is going to make my career!"
    "Do you think maybe you could edit this out later," Homer said, still covering himself and blushing profusely.
    "You can't edit what's going and broadcasting live to millions of people," she said as she laughed. "This is Connie Nelson for the Channel 6 news."

    The next Monday when they went back to the office Homer and Marge found it hard to make eye contact with everybody.
    "Hey it's the two naked celebrities," Ned said as everybody in the office began clapping and smiling. "You've been all over the news, in fact I think that you're probably even bigger news than the potential apocalypse. How does it feel to be famous? Maybe I should ask for your autograph now. I would have asked you the other day except I didn't know where you would keep a pen seeing as you had no pockets!"
    As Homer and Marge stood there with Teresa smiling at them from across the room and smirking evilly neither of them needed to say it but they were both thinking it.
    They were both wishing that it really had been the end of the world after all. For them the end didn't come with a bang or a whimper, it came with a blush and a lot of laughter.