Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Completely Stark Naked?!
I have to say that I am incredibly pleased with this story as I think it's one of my better naked stories in general, I'm really on a roll here. Originally this started out titled Win a date with a naked guy, but then I decided to make the main character black, and originally it was just going to be a comment by her friend about how problematic it was to be auctioning off a naked black man, but then I went off in a totally different tangent and made involuntary nudity a stand-in for commentary on racism and I eventually made the whole thing a parody of the classic movie Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? But again the discomfort is coming from involuntary nudity rather than racial issues. In that regard I think that the whole satire works very effectively and I am also very pleased with how I decided to end it as well.
Like a lot of my other stories this takes place in a world where there is an illogical virus that somehow makes people allergic to clothing. The story contains various different types of nudity but most heavily CFNM, only one naked, embarrassed naked male and towards the end a little bit of CMNF and CFNF.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Completely Stark Naked?!
"Okay ladies today we are auctioning off your chance to win a date with a naked guy!" the auctioneer said. "Now remember the woman who is the highest bidder will get to have a date with the naked man of her choosing. All proceeds of course will be going to the benefit of the charity a cure for the naked, to try and find a cure for the devastating disease that has left thousands of men and women throughout the country with a horrible allergic to clothing and forcing them to go naked against their wills."
"Doesn't that seem like a little bit hypocritical or exploitative," Penelope said.
"How so?" Lydia asked.
"Well look, they are auctioning off naked people for charity, people who are pretty much all afflicted with this horrible virus that makes them naked, and now they pretty much have to auction off their naked bodies in order to try and raise money to find a cure for their naked condition. Basically even if you are contributing money to charity to find a cure you're taking advantage of the fact that you have somebody who has to be naked around you and has no choice in the matter."
"Hey, you know they are doing the same for women and guys have no problem forking over tons of money to be dating a naked chick. I mean if I were one of the people afflicted with this nudity virus, God forbid, I would be wanting people to be trying and finding a cure for me as well."
Penelope shook her head. "So you are telling me that if you suddenly became afflicted with the naked virus you would have no problem being auctioned off naked to try and raise money for charity?"
"I never said that exactly."
"Exactly, because you would be too embarrassed to be auctioned off as some type of naked piece of meat. Hell, you even blush in the locker room shower dammit!"
"Well I never said that I was going to bid on anyone. I just sort of came to watch."
"Isn't coming to just watch people parade around naked on stage without buying anything also taking advantage of the situation?"
"Hey you came with me, do you intend to buy anything?"
"Well, the thing is I'm kind of broke at the moment –"
Lydia smiled. "That's what I thought. So just sit back and enjoy the parade of naked men that they are going to be bringing out on stage for our amusement and stop being a hypocrite about it."
"Our first man up for auction tonight is Jarrell," the auctioneer said as a muscular black man walked out onto stage.
"Oh wow," Penelope said as she covered up her mouth. "You should bid on that one!"
"Just like I thought," Lydia said shaking her head. "But God damn he is attractive, think of how he would look hanging off of my arm. Everyone would be staring directly at me."
"I don't think that they would be staring at you, actually I think that they would be directly staring at his –" Penelope began saying before being interrupted.
"Do I hear $500 for this fine male specimen?" the auctioneer said.
"As a person who is half black myself I feel that auctioning off a black man standing naked on the stage seems so problematic in so many ways –" Penelope started saying before being interrupted once again.
"$500!" Lydia shouted as she held up her number.
"Lydia!" Penelope shouted.
"It's a dating auction, not a slave auction," Lydia said. "Besides you haven't stopped staring at his junk since he we came onto the stage, don't be jealous."
The bidding continue to go on until Lydia finally bid $7500, which ended up being the final bid that nobody else could top.
"Sold to the pretty young thing in the first row," the auctioneer said as Jarrell sort of smiled and waved at her but looked really coy and uncomfortable about it.
"I can't believe you just bought a human being," Penelope said.
"Like I said, not a slave auction, I can see where you're coming from and I can see how it's problematic, but think of it like this, I just gave $7500 to a worthy charity," Lydia said as she smiled. "God look at that cock!"
"Hello, I guess I am going to be your date," Jarrell said as he came over to Lydia. "My name is Jarrell, what is your name?"
"Lydia you're drooling," Penelope said as she elbowed Lydia.
"Lydia, that's a nice name, I actually once dated a girl named Lydia, you know back when I could still wear clothing and everything," Jarrell said with nervous laughter as he put his hands behind his head and started looking at his feet.
"You don't have a problem being sold off as a piece of meat?" Penelope asked. "I mean given all of the historical injustices that our people have suffered you don't find any problem with being auctioned off naked to a wealthy white girl?"
"Hey I don't see race," Lydia said as she continued drooling.
"I think right now you not see much of anything except lots of naked flesh," Penelope said.
"I'll admit it feels kind of weird being here," Jarrell said. "But I felt that I could raise money for charity and everything, so it is a good cause and stuff."
"See he's fine with it," Lydia said trying hard not to stare at his genitals.
"I don't know, you look like you are kind of uncomfortable with it," Penelope said.
"Well I am kind of uncomfortable with something," Jarrell said as he sort of sheepishly looked at his feet and shuffled them around.
"See, I knew that he would be uncomfortable with the idea of being auctioned off like a slave," Penelope said.
"It's not that," Jarrell said with nervous laughter. "I'm not uncomfortable about being auctioned off, I'm just kind of uncomfortable about being naked in public, being naked in public all the time everywhere I go."
"Well you wear it well," Lydia said her mouth still gawking as she wiped away some drool. "I'm sorry don't mean to be rude, but it's just I have never dated a naked guy before and I have to say it's a bit overwhelming."
"Try actually being a naked guy in public everywhere you go," Jarrell said. "You have any idea what it's like where everywhere you go people can see, well everything."
"I've been cat called on the street once, so I totally get where you are coming from," Lydia said.
"I can't really ever go down the street without people making some type of comment on me or grabbing me or whistling and hollering or pulling their children away and covering up their eyes," Jarrell said. "Even my own family was kind of really uncomfortable having me around. They said that they would always support me and everything, but you could tell that they were uncomfortable with my nudity every time they saw me."
"Well don't worry I'm certainly not uncomfortable with your nudity," Lydia said with boisterous laughter.
"The thing is I'm actually really shy," Jarrell said.
"You don't seem that shy, you're standing there buck naked!" Lydia said as she laughed once again.
"Yeah but it's not by choice remember, I'm allergic to clothing," Jarrell said as he sort of shifted around uncomfortably.
"Oh sorry, I forgot it for a moment," Lydia said. "Yeah, it must be kind of embarrassing being naked all the time. But hey you don't have to feel strange about it, I am totally okay with naked people. In fact I think that you should meet all of my family and friends. Don't worry they're all very liberal progressive people and they are not prudish people about nudity, I am sure that they won't have any problem with me dating a naked guy."
"I have to admit I feel kind of strange meeting your family on the first date and everything like that," Jarrell said. "I was kind of assuming that this would just be a one on one sort of thing."
Penelope made a comehither motion with her finger and pulled Lydia over to the side.
"Don't think I don't know what you are doing here," Penelope said.
"What exactly do you think I am doing?" Lydia said. "I just want to go on a date with Jarrell, I paid $7500 for it, so I think that I should make it an all-out spectacular event."
"Haven't you even thought about what Jarrell thinks? You just want to parade him around in front of all your family and friends saying look at me, I'm dating a naked guy with an enormous cock."
"That's not at all what I am thinking, I just figure that I want everyone to see my new boyfriend. Are you saying that I should hide him away shamefully just because he is naked?"
"No, I'm not saying that at all, don't put words into my mouth. I am just saying that maybe Jarrell would feel kind of uncomfortable if you invite him over for a dinner date and you have we all your family and friends there staring at the fact that he is naked. He already said that he was shy, don't you think you would feel a little bit weird being naked in front of a large group of people you''ve never even met before? I mean if you were naked would you want to meet all of his family and friends in the buff while all of them get to stay dressed?"
Lydia shook her head. "I mean maybe not on the first date and everything. No, you know what, if I were naked all the time anyway I would be used to it. Everyone gets to see Jarrell naked so he shouldn't hide that from the world. He should be proud about being naked. Besides he looks great naked so he should flaunt it!"
"I'm just thinking that maybe you should be a little bit more considerate and –" Penelope said as Lydia started walking away.
"Jarrell I would be honored if you came to my parents' mansion and meet them and all of our family and friends and my sister and her friends and all of my girlfriends and everything," Lydia said.
"Great I can't wait to meet all of your family and friends," Jarrell said, but Penelope could tell that he was looking practically mortified.
"Excellent, I'll pick you up tomorrow and you will come and meet all of my family and friends and we will have a great time," Lydia said. "My parents are wonderful people and they are excellent cooks."
"I'm looking forward to it," Jarrell said. "I will show up wearing my best outfit, which is unfortunately my only outfit, my birthday suit."
"I guess you won't be putting any bells and whistles on that," Lydia said as the two of them laughed, Jarrell looking decidedly nervous and uncomfortable the whole time.
The next day Lydia and Penelope arrived and they picked Jarrell up in a limousine so that they could go to her parents' mansion. The limo driver raised his eyebrows when he saw Jarrell who simply smiled and waved to him.
"I have to admit I'm kind of nervous meeting your parents," Jarrell said as the three of them sat in the back of the limo with him between the two women. "Are you sure they're going to be okay with this?"
Lydia nodded. "I told you my parents are wonderful people and their personal pet peeve is bigotry. They wouldn't want to judge anyone based on their clothing preferences or options or lifestyle choice or anything like that. They aren't some type of prudes who think that nudity is sinful or wrong or anything like that."
"Oh I don't doubt that your parents are wonderful people, I'm just saying some people are little bit shocked the first time they see me," Jarrell said. "And by see me I mean all of me. A lot of people say that they are okay with nudity but when they have it right in their face, so to speak, it can be extremely awkward."
"Don't worry it is just going to be a simple get together with my close family and a couple of really close friends, it's no big deal," Lydia said as she shook her head.
"Well I'm looking forward to meeting everyone, although sometimes I'm a little bit shy about meeting new people," Jarrell said. "And that was a bit true even before I had to meet everybody dressed as the way God made me."
"Well it's a good look on you, you should wear it proudly, you should be happy the way God made you," Lydia said.
"I just wish God made me so that I wouldn't have to go everywhere dressed like Adam and Eve, actually even less so, at least they got a fig leaf!" Jarrell said as he laughed as the three of them all sort of began laughing in response to that.
It didn't take long for them to arrive at the mansion of her parents.
"Let me just go a little bit ahead and tell everyone that you'll be coming in, as I want them all to be prepared," Lydia said.
Lydia got out of the limo and ran towards the door with an excited look on her face like she was a giddy little schoolgirl.
"You think she's going to prepare them for the fact that I am completely buck naked?" Jarrell said as he turned to Penelope.
"Look Jarrell, if you feel uncomfortable with this I couldn't blame you if you wanted to bail on it," Penelope said.
"Lydia paid $7500 for me, I want her to have a good time," Jarrell said.
"But you don't have a problem with the fact that she is basically going to be showing you off naked to everyone she knows?" Penelope asked. "You aren't uncomfortable with that?"
"I'm kind of uncomfortable about the fact that I have to go naked everywhere I go, but you know you have to get used to it as there's nothing you can do, so why cry about it?"
"Well that's a really positive attitude to have, if I became one of the naked people I think that I would probably never want to leave my house again. I admire your bravery and being able to bear yourself to the world while completely, well bare."
"Okay everybody everyone's ready to meet you!" Lydia said as she motioned them towards the door.
"I guess it's now or never," Jarrell said as he went over to Lydia, who put her arms around him and walked into the room with her arms draped over him with a big smile on her face.
"Everyone this is my new boyfriend Jarrell!" Lydia shouted as she closed her eyes and smiled as all of her friends and family, and what looked like about two dozen female friends, all elaborately dressed to the nines, sat there in total awe as some of them began whispering and a couple of them dropped their silverware.
"Lydia you never said that you were dating a b –" Florence began saying that able to form the words.
"A buck naked guy, well I am!" Lydia said with a laugh. "But don't worry he's totally cool with being naked and everything. I know I would never be so brave to be able to walk around everywhere I go naked, but that's the way he has to navigate the world and it's just the way God made him, so let's all just celebrate the way he is and celebrate the fact that he is here. Everybody say hello to Jarrell!"
People started saying hi as Lydia went around and introduced him individually to each person, with every woman in the place struggling not to stare at him with their jaws dropping, making Jarrell feel incredibly awkward.
Finally Lydia went over to her parents George and Ethel to introduce him.
"Mom and dad, this is Jarrell," Lydia said.
"Hello Jarrell, it's pleased to meet you," George said as he shook Jarrell's hand but looked extremely awkward and uncomfortable as he did so.
"Oh my," Ethel said as she started to swoon before Jarrell caught her. She looked at him and smiled. "Thank you young man, that was very polite of you."
"I sometimes have that effect, I didn't mean to startle you, it happens a lot," Jarrell said. "I guess Lydia didn't tell you that she was bringing home a naked guy."
"I thought it would be a nice surprise," Lydia said. "Besides my mom and dad, well they love naked people. When they were younger they experimented with nudism."
"Well we were a lot younger then," George said as he and Ethel exchanged uncomfortable glances. "But you are right, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the naked human body, nothing at all."
"Of course not!" Ethel said trying not to sound too defensive. "We have lots of naked friends, and have given to numerous charities that are trying to cure these terrible new diseases that seem to have the unusual effective rendering people incapable of wearing clothing ever again."
"And we raised our daughter to not be bothered by the naked human form," George said. "Maybe we raised her little bit too well, because when she first heard about all these people going around naked you should have seen her eyes light up like she had just won the lottery or something!"
George began laughing as Jarrell stood there looking uncomfortable as Lydia waved her hands in a shut up right now motion that was making her feel extremely uncomfortable. All of Lydia's girlfriends were sort of staring in their general direction, trying not to giggle and laugh, but several of them couldn't help themselves and a couple of them ran out of the room.
"So Jarrell, Lydia told us that you want to be a virologist and find a cure for lots of these terrible diseases plaguing the world today," George said.
"Yes, I wanted to study to be someone who researches to find cures for diseases all around the world, not just the naked diseases though, lots of other terrible diseases like AIDS and malaria and Ebola," Jarrell said. "It's not all just about getting the clothing back on people. In fact I sometimes consider myself lucky that I happen to live in a warm environment through most of the year. There are lots of people who are afflicted with this condition who have to end up moving away from everyone they ever knew simply because it is too cold where they live. And lots of people are rejected by their families after they are diagnosed with their naked condition."
"Well that's terrible, and I can assure you that won't have to worry about that here," Ethel said. "I hope that your family was understanding."
"My family's understanding but they were needless to say a little bit awkward approaching the subject," Jarrell said.
"That's fully understandable," Ethel said trying not to hide the fact that right now she was incredibly uncomfortable with the entire situation.
"It's not easy growing up naked," Jarrell said. "It didn't help that even before I came down with this condition that I was as bashful and shy as anyone you would ever meet."
George smiled "I never had you pegged as the shy type."
Jarrell laughed. "I don't think that anybody does. Everyone naturally assumes if you are walking around naked that you are some type of exhibitionist, but this is probably the last thing in the world that I would have ever wanted to happen to me. I was a painfully shy teenager and then all of the sudden I can't wear clothing anymore. Suddenly everybody is staring at me wherever I go. You really stick out like a sore thumb when you are the only one naked."
Everyone looked in the direction of the table where all of Lydia's female friends and relatives were still staring and trying not to look like they were staring.
"Well I certainly wouldn't want to be in that situation," George said. "I think that you are very brave Jarrell."
"I think that it has made me a more compassionate person," Jarrell said. "When everybody is staring at you all the time you sort of have to develop a thick skin to not let it bother you, but I have to admit every day I go to sleep wishing that they would find a cure that I could walk down the street without everybody staring at my naked body. Plus sometimes it gets chilly out!"
Everyone laughed nervously as they smiled awkwardly.
"So what is it like studying to be a virologist?" Ethel asked.
"Well I have to admit it's rather awkward," Jarrell said. "You see the first thing is that I started studying nursing originally, but it was kind of hard to do when most of the nursing staff is female and can't stop staring at you. I realized I was just sort of being a distraction, so I thought it was better to take up something that involved more solitary studying, where I could be out of the public eye. Like I said, I'm no exhibitionist, quite the opposite in fact! A lot of people have a hard time accepting a naked person or taking a naked person seriously. I feel like every time I am giving a speech or something like that everybody is just sort of staring at my body and not listening to my words. I actually got a scholarship to study viruses and I was almost awarded the MacArthur genius grant, but I think that they ended up turning me down simply because they thought of the idea of giving that to a naked guy, well you know how society is. I may be a brilliant person but all they see is a naked guy."
Ethel shook her head. "That's terrible, just terrible. They should have some type of naked scholarship fund to help naked people who are as brilliant as you to make their dreams come true and to contribute to humanity in the way that they want."
As Jarrell continued to make small talk with Lydia's parents Lydia went over to Penelope with a big smile.
"You know I think that they like him," Lydia said. "In fact I think everybody really likes him."
"Well I think everybody likes seeing him naked," Penelope said. "But look at all of your friends and female relatives, they couldn't stop smirking and grinning from ear to ear like horny teens, and some of them couldn't even stay in the room because they couldn't stop laughing about it. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable Jarrell must feel right now?"
"Hey he's used to being naked, he has a thick skin," Lydia said.
"But look at how you are parading him around to all of your friends because you want to say, hey look what I've got, I've got a guy who can't wear clothing and he's really hot!"
"Hey I would feel pretty good about myself if everyone was whistling and hollering at how hot I was."
"You wouldn't last a single day if you wish afflicted with nakedness. I think a lot of people are really uncomfortable about this just like Jarrell is."
Lydia shook her head. "Don't worry, they all know that nakedness isn't contagious, nobody knows what exactly causes it or why some people get it and some people don't. Fortunately it's a very rare disease."
"Which is why it must be so extremely terrible for Jarrell," Penelope said shaking her head. "Not only does he has to deal with systematic racism and being a racial minority, now he has to deal with being, I guess it would be called a sexual minority, having to go naked everywhere. At least people who are naked by choice have chosen that lifestyle, Jarrell just had this forced on him and has to deal with it every single day. You have no idea the struggles that the naked have to endure."
"Well I'm going to learn," Lydia said. "In fact by dating Jarrell I think that I'm going to help him to come out of his shell a bit and realize that he shouldn't have to hide his nudity from the world in order to feel comfortable."
"You just like the idea of everybody seeing you with an attractive naked guy following you around everywhere. To you he is nothing more than arm candy."
"But that's not true at all, I want to get to know every aspect of him, not just the fact that he is a really hot naked guy with an enormous cock that he can't hide from the world."
Penelope shook her head. "I really hope so Lydia, I really want to believe that you have Jarrell's best intentions and interests in mind, but I think that you are just getting off on the power trip of going around in that really expensive outfit of yours while your boyfriend has to follow you around naked."
"Look he's getting along great with my parents, and my family and friends all seem to like him, as evidenced by all of the phones that I heard clicking pictures as soon as he came into the room."
Penelope shook her head. "Do you think a shy bashful guy likes the idea of a bunch of women that he doesn't know taking naked pictures of him?"
Jarrell started going to mingle with some of the other women that Lydia had invited, so Lydia thought it was the perfect time to go see her parents in private.
"So mom and dad, what did you think of him?" Lydia said with a smile. "Isn't he a really great guy?"
"He's a very lovely and intelligent man," Ethel said as George nodded in agreement but they sort of looked at each other uncomfortably.
"But –" Lydia said as she could realize that they were doing a lot of nonverbal communication at the moment.
"You know that we will be happy for you whoever you choose to spend your life with or to go on a date with, but haven't you worried what society is going to think about you two being together?" George asked.
"You're not saying that you are saying that I should stop dating Jarrell just because he's –"
"Of course not!" Ethel said. "You know we have no problem with nudity whatsoever. But in this society that we live in people are going to judge you. People are going to say look at that girl with the naked guy on her arm. They're going to think that maybe you are some type of sex pervert or something like that. It is really uncommon for naked people and non-naked people to have a relationship together, they live in different worlds."
"Mom I can't believe you, after everything you taught me, you are saying that we should segregate," Lydia said.
"No, I don't think that's what your mother is saying at all, don't put words into her mouth," George said. "We are certainly not judging your relationship with a naked guy or suggesting that they should be segregated from society like a lot of people suggest. And we certainly don't agree with the people who want to ban relationships and sexual relations between naked and non-naked people, as we know that that is not how the virus spreads."
"All we are saying here is that society still is not as accepting of naked people as they should be," Ethel said. "It's just if you end up getting really serious with this guy have you considered the implications? Everywhere you go he will have to go naked."
"You don't think I'm some pervert just because I am dating a naked guy do you?" Lydia asked. "It's not like he chose to be naked, it's not some type of perverted kink of his, that's just the way he has to go around. He has to go around naked, he doesn't have a choice in the matter, you can't judge a person for something they have no choice of, that would be like judging a person based on the color of their skin. Jarrell doesn't want to be naked, that's just the way he is. In fact he said that he wanted nothing more in the world and to be able to wear clothing. He said one of the saddest things is that he will never be able to wear his father's tuxedo if he gets married one day when he walks his bride down the aisle. Isn't that just terrible?"
Lydia wiped away a tear.
Penelope came over with a smile and put her arm around Lydia. "I was wrong, you do genuinely care about him, I think that now you have realize what he has to go through every day, the harassment and intimidation, all just because he can't wear clothing like everybody else in society."
"Penelope is right," George said shaking his head. "I think that maybe we have been unfair to Jarrell. For too long people have been judged by the clothing on their back rather than the content of their character, and we were judging Jarrell simply because he didn't have clothing, just like we taught you that you should never do. But I guess we raised you too well, we raised you to become a compassionate woman who cares about the marginalized."
"I'm proud of you," Penelope said as she put her arm around Lydia. "I'm sorry I accused you of ever just wanting some naked guy to parade around as arm candy. I can see now that you genuinely care for him and I think that he is a very lucky man. And I'll admit maybe I was a little bit jealous when you bidded on him at that auction that day, but I think that he couldn't have ended up with somebody better than you."
"I heard the whole thing," Jarrell said as they suddenly noticed he was standing there.
"Jarrell!" Lydia said as she turned around and smiled. "Jarrell I know it's not going to be easy dealing with society's judgment, but I have genuine feelings towards you. I don't know where this relationship is going, but no matter where it is going I want to be with you however you are, naked, dressed, whatever. It is the person who is inside that matters most, not what they are wearing or not wearing. Maybe I don't fully understand the naked experience as well as I could, but I hope that you will help me to understand and in time make you feel less uncomfortable about being naked wherever you go."
Jarrell and Lydia hugged and began kissing as everybody in the house started clapping and cheering for them, and a couple of people began whistling, which Penelope thought was probably close to catcalling and was a bit problematic, but at a romantic moment like that it didn't even bother her that much.
One year later.
"I am so honored that you chose me to be your bridesmaid," Penelope said as she spun around in her bridesmaid outfit. "Sorry I didn't mean to make you feel jealous or uncomfortable."
"No I understand you didn't," Lydia said as she stood there completely naked and struggling not to blush. "You have been a close friend and ally through all of this. In fact after Jarrell I don't think anyone has been more supportive than you have been."
The two of them hugged and the feeling of Penelope's bridesmaids dress brushing up against Lydia's naked body filled her with a feeling of jealousy that she could not fully express.
"I mean I just can't believe the irony though," Penelope said trying not to laugh. "Sorry I didn't mean to laugh, but I think that anyone would be shocked at the fact that after you got in a relationship with a naked guy and it got serious and he agreed to marry you, then all the sudden they found a cure for the naked condition but the cure only worked on men. And then you come down with the naked condition and it just turns your entire relationship around in reverse. Isn't it funny how stuff like that happens?"
"It's absolutely hilarious," Lydia said as she hugged Penelope and started crying her eyes out.
Lydia dried her eyes and walked down the aisle blushing profusely the entire time as Lydia led her by the arm down to Jarrell, who was standing there wearing his father's tuxedo and smiling the biggest smile you had ever seen on a person before.
"It really was a match made in heaven," Penelope said as he took out her camera phone and took a photo of Jarrell dressed in his finest outfit with his naked and very brightly blushing bride at his side.
Like a lot of my other stories this takes place in a world where there is an illogical virus that somehow makes people allergic to clothing. The story contains various different types of nudity but most heavily CFNM, only one naked, embarrassed naked male and towards the end a little bit of CMNF and CFNF.
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner Completely Stark Naked?!
"Okay ladies today we are auctioning off your chance to win a date with a naked guy!" the auctioneer said. "Now remember the woman who is the highest bidder will get to have a date with the naked man of her choosing. All proceeds of course will be going to the benefit of the charity a cure for the naked, to try and find a cure for the devastating disease that has left thousands of men and women throughout the country with a horrible allergic to clothing and forcing them to go naked against their wills."
"Doesn't that seem like a little bit hypocritical or exploitative," Penelope said.
"How so?" Lydia asked.
"Well look, they are auctioning off naked people for charity, people who are pretty much all afflicted with this horrible virus that makes them naked, and now they pretty much have to auction off their naked bodies in order to try and raise money to find a cure for their naked condition. Basically even if you are contributing money to charity to find a cure you're taking advantage of the fact that you have somebody who has to be naked around you and has no choice in the matter."
"Hey, you know they are doing the same for women and guys have no problem forking over tons of money to be dating a naked chick. I mean if I were one of the people afflicted with this nudity virus, God forbid, I would be wanting people to be trying and finding a cure for me as well."
Penelope shook her head. "So you are telling me that if you suddenly became afflicted with the naked virus you would have no problem being auctioned off naked to try and raise money for charity?"
"I never said that exactly."
"Exactly, because you would be too embarrassed to be auctioned off as some type of naked piece of meat. Hell, you even blush in the locker room shower dammit!"
"Well I never said that I was going to bid on anyone. I just sort of came to watch."
"Isn't coming to just watch people parade around naked on stage without buying anything also taking advantage of the situation?"
"Hey you came with me, do you intend to buy anything?"
"Well, the thing is I'm kind of broke at the moment –"
Lydia smiled. "That's what I thought. So just sit back and enjoy the parade of naked men that they are going to be bringing out on stage for our amusement and stop being a hypocrite about it."
"Our first man up for auction tonight is Jarrell," the auctioneer said as a muscular black man walked out onto stage.
"Oh wow," Penelope said as she covered up her mouth. "You should bid on that one!"
"Just like I thought," Lydia said shaking her head. "But God damn he is attractive, think of how he would look hanging off of my arm. Everyone would be staring directly at me."
"I don't think that they would be staring at you, actually I think that they would be directly staring at his –" Penelope began saying before being interrupted.
"Do I hear $500 for this fine male specimen?" the auctioneer said.
"As a person who is half black myself I feel that auctioning off a black man standing naked on the stage seems so problematic in so many ways –" Penelope started saying before being interrupted once again.
"$500!" Lydia shouted as she held up her number.
"Lydia!" Penelope shouted.
"It's a dating auction, not a slave auction," Lydia said. "Besides you haven't stopped staring at his junk since he we came onto the stage, don't be jealous."
The bidding continue to go on until Lydia finally bid $7500, which ended up being the final bid that nobody else could top.
"Sold to the pretty young thing in the first row," the auctioneer said as Jarrell sort of smiled and waved at her but looked really coy and uncomfortable about it.
"I can't believe you just bought a human being," Penelope said.
"Like I said, not a slave auction, I can see where you're coming from and I can see how it's problematic, but think of it like this, I just gave $7500 to a worthy charity," Lydia said as she smiled. "God look at that cock!"
"Hello, I guess I am going to be your date," Jarrell said as he came over to Lydia. "My name is Jarrell, what is your name?"
"Lydia you're drooling," Penelope said as she elbowed Lydia.
"Lydia, that's a nice name, I actually once dated a girl named Lydia, you know back when I could still wear clothing and everything," Jarrell said with nervous laughter as he put his hands behind his head and started looking at his feet.
"You don't have a problem being sold off as a piece of meat?" Penelope asked. "I mean given all of the historical injustices that our people have suffered you don't find any problem with being auctioned off naked to a wealthy white girl?"
"Hey I don't see race," Lydia said as she continued drooling.
"I think right now you not see much of anything except lots of naked flesh," Penelope said.
"I'll admit it feels kind of weird being here," Jarrell said. "But I felt that I could raise money for charity and everything, so it is a good cause and stuff."
"See he's fine with it," Lydia said trying hard not to stare at his genitals.
"I don't know, you look like you are kind of uncomfortable with it," Penelope said.
"Well I am kind of uncomfortable with something," Jarrell said as he sort of sheepishly looked at his feet and shuffled them around.
"See, I knew that he would be uncomfortable with the idea of being auctioned off like a slave," Penelope said.
"It's not that," Jarrell said with nervous laughter. "I'm not uncomfortable about being auctioned off, I'm just kind of uncomfortable about being naked in public, being naked in public all the time everywhere I go."
"Well you wear it well," Lydia said her mouth still gawking as she wiped away some drool. "I'm sorry don't mean to be rude, but it's just I have never dated a naked guy before and I have to say it's a bit overwhelming."
"Try actually being a naked guy in public everywhere you go," Jarrell said. "You have any idea what it's like where everywhere you go people can see, well everything."
"I've been cat called on the street once, so I totally get where you are coming from," Lydia said.
"I can't really ever go down the street without people making some type of comment on me or grabbing me or whistling and hollering or pulling their children away and covering up their eyes," Jarrell said. "Even my own family was kind of really uncomfortable having me around. They said that they would always support me and everything, but you could tell that they were uncomfortable with my nudity every time they saw me."
"Well don't worry I'm certainly not uncomfortable with your nudity," Lydia said with boisterous laughter.
"The thing is I'm actually really shy," Jarrell said.
"You don't seem that shy, you're standing there buck naked!" Lydia said as she laughed once again.
"Yeah but it's not by choice remember, I'm allergic to clothing," Jarrell said as he sort of shifted around uncomfortably.
"Oh sorry, I forgot it for a moment," Lydia said. "Yeah, it must be kind of embarrassing being naked all the time. But hey you don't have to feel strange about it, I am totally okay with naked people. In fact I think that you should meet all of my family and friends. Don't worry they're all very liberal progressive people and they are not prudish people about nudity, I am sure that they won't have any problem with me dating a naked guy."
"I have to admit I feel kind of strange meeting your family on the first date and everything like that," Jarrell said. "I was kind of assuming that this would just be a one on one sort of thing."
Penelope made a comehither motion with her finger and pulled Lydia over to the side.
"Don't think I don't know what you are doing here," Penelope said.
"What exactly do you think I am doing?" Lydia said. "I just want to go on a date with Jarrell, I paid $7500 for it, so I think that I should make it an all-out spectacular event."
"Haven't you even thought about what Jarrell thinks? You just want to parade him around in front of all your family and friends saying look at me, I'm dating a naked guy with an enormous cock."
"That's not at all what I am thinking, I just figure that I want everyone to see my new boyfriend. Are you saying that I should hide him away shamefully just because he is naked?"
"No, I'm not saying that at all, don't put words into my mouth. I am just saying that maybe Jarrell would feel kind of uncomfortable if you invite him over for a dinner date and you have we all your family and friends there staring at the fact that he is naked. He already said that he was shy, don't you think you would feel a little bit weird being naked in front of a large group of people you''ve never even met before? I mean if you were naked would you want to meet all of his family and friends in the buff while all of them get to stay dressed?"
Lydia shook her head. "I mean maybe not on the first date and everything. No, you know what, if I were naked all the time anyway I would be used to it. Everyone gets to see Jarrell naked so he shouldn't hide that from the world. He should be proud about being naked. Besides he looks great naked so he should flaunt it!"
"I'm just thinking that maybe you should be a little bit more considerate and –" Penelope said as Lydia started walking away.
"Jarrell I would be honored if you came to my parents' mansion and meet them and all of our family and friends and my sister and her friends and all of my girlfriends and everything," Lydia said.
"Great I can't wait to meet all of your family and friends," Jarrell said, but Penelope could tell that he was looking practically mortified.
"Excellent, I'll pick you up tomorrow and you will come and meet all of my family and friends and we will have a great time," Lydia said. "My parents are wonderful people and they are excellent cooks."
"I'm looking forward to it," Jarrell said. "I will show up wearing my best outfit, which is unfortunately my only outfit, my birthday suit."
"I guess you won't be putting any bells and whistles on that," Lydia said as the two of them laughed, Jarrell looking decidedly nervous and uncomfortable the whole time.
The next day Lydia and Penelope arrived and they picked Jarrell up in a limousine so that they could go to her parents' mansion. The limo driver raised his eyebrows when he saw Jarrell who simply smiled and waved to him.
"I have to admit I'm kind of nervous meeting your parents," Jarrell said as the three of them sat in the back of the limo with him between the two women. "Are you sure they're going to be okay with this?"
Lydia nodded. "I told you my parents are wonderful people and their personal pet peeve is bigotry. They wouldn't want to judge anyone based on their clothing preferences or options or lifestyle choice or anything like that. They aren't some type of prudes who think that nudity is sinful or wrong or anything like that."
"Oh I don't doubt that your parents are wonderful people, I'm just saying some people are little bit shocked the first time they see me," Jarrell said. "And by see me I mean all of me. A lot of people say that they are okay with nudity but when they have it right in their face, so to speak, it can be extremely awkward."
"Don't worry it is just going to be a simple get together with my close family and a couple of really close friends, it's no big deal," Lydia said as she shook her head.
"Well I'm looking forward to meeting everyone, although sometimes I'm a little bit shy about meeting new people," Jarrell said. "And that was a bit true even before I had to meet everybody dressed as the way God made me."
"Well it's a good look on you, you should wear it proudly, you should be happy the way God made you," Lydia said.
"I just wish God made me so that I wouldn't have to go everywhere dressed like Adam and Eve, actually even less so, at least they got a fig leaf!" Jarrell said as he laughed as the three of them all sort of began laughing in response to that.
It didn't take long for them to arrive at the mansion of her parents.
"Let me just go a little bit ahead and tell everyone that you'll be coming in, as I want them all to be prepared," Lydia said.
Lydia got out of the limo and ran towards the door with an excited look on her face like she was a giddy little schoolgirl.
"You think she's going to prepare them for the fact that I am completely buck naked?" Jarrell said as he turned to Penelope.
"Look Jarrell, if you feel uncomfortable with this I couldn't blame you if you wanted to bail on it," Penelope said.
"Lydia paid $7500 for me, I want her to have a good time," Jarrell said.
"But you don't have a problem with the fact that she is basically going to be showing you off naked to everyone she knows?" Penelope asked. "You aren't uncomfortable with that?"
"I'm kind of uncomfortable about the fact that I have to go naked everywhere I go, but you know you have to get used to it as there's nothing you can do, so why cry about it?"
"Well that's a really positive attitude to have, if I became one of the naked people I think that I would probably never want to leave my house again. I admire your bravery and being able to bear yourself to the world while completely, well bare."
"Okay everybody everyone's ready to meet you!" Lydia said as she motioned them towards the door.
"I guess it's now or never," Jarrell said as he went over to Lydia, who put her arms around him and walked into the room with her arms draped over him with a big smile on her face.
"Everyone this is my new boyfriend Jarrell!" Lydia shouted as she closed her eyes and smiled as all of her friends and family, and what looked like about two dozen female friends, all elaborately dressed to the nines, sat there in total awe as some of them began whispering and a couple of them dropped their silverware.
"Lydia you never said that you were dating a b –" Florence began saying that able to form the words.
"A buck naked guy, well I am!" Lydia said with a laugh. "But don't worry he's totally cool with being naked and everything. I know I would never be so brave to be able to walk around everywhere I go naked, but that's the way he has to navigate the world and it's just the way God made him, so let's all just celebrate the way he is and celebrate the fact that he is here. Everybody say hello to Jarrell!"
People started saying hi as Lydia went around and introduced him individually to each person, with every woman in the place struggling not to stare at him with their jaws dropping, making Jarrell feel incredibly awkward.
Finally Lydia went over to her parents George and Ethel to introduce him.
"Mom and dad, this is Jarrell," Lydia said.
"Hello Jarrell, it's pleased to meet you," George said as he shook Jarrell's hand but looked extremely awkward and uncomfortable as he did so.
"Oh my," Ethel said as she started to swoon before Jarrell caught her. She looked at him and smiled. "Thank you young man, that was very polite of you."
"I sometimes have that effect, I didn't mean to startle you, it happens a lot," Jarrell said. "I guess Lydia didn't tell you that she was bringing home a naked guy."
"I thought it would be a nice surprise," Lydia said. "Besides my mom and dad, well they love naked people. When they were younger they experimented with nudism."
"Well we were a lot younger then," George said as he and Ethel exchanged uncomfortable glances. "But you are right, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the naked human body, nothing at all."
"Of course not!" Ethel said trying not to sound too defensive. "We have lots of naked friends, and have given to numerous charities that are trying to cure these terrible new diseases that seem to have the unusual effective rendering people incapable of wearing clothing ever again."
"And we raised our daughter to not be bothered by the naked human form," George said. "Maybe we raised her little bit too well, because when she first heard about all these people going around naked you should have seen her eyes light up like she had just won the lottery or something!"
George began laughing as Jarrell stood there looking uncomfortable as Lydia waved her hands in a shut up right now motion that was making her feel extremely uncomfortable. All of Lydia's girlfriends were sort of staring in their general direction, trying not to giggle and laugh, but several of them couldn't help themselves and a couple of them ran out of the room.
"So Jarrell, Lydia told us that you want to be a virologist and find a cure for lots of these terrible diseases plaguing the world today," George said.
"Yes, I wanted to study to be someone who researches to find cures for diseases all around the world, not just the naked diseases though, lots of other terrible diseases like AIDS and malaria and Ebola," Jarrell said. "It's not all just about getting the clothing back on people. In fact I sometimes consider myself lucky that I happen to live in a warm environment through most of the year. There are lots of people who are afflicted with this condition who have to end up moving away from everyone they ever knew simply because it is too cold where they live. And lots of people are rejected by their families after they are diagnosed with their naked condition."
"Well that's terrible, and I can assure you that won't have to worry about that here," Ethel said. "I hope that your family was understanding."
"My family's understanding but they were needless to say a little bit awkward approaching the subject," Jarrell said.
"That's fully understandable," Ethel said trying not to hide the fact that right now she was incredibly uncomfortable with the entire situation.
"It's not easy growing up naked," Jarrell said. "It didn't help that even before I came down with this condition that I was as bashful and shy as anyone you would ever meet."
George smiled "I never had you pegged as the shy type."
Jarrell laughed. "I don't think that anybody does. Everyone naturally assumes if you are walking around naked that you are some type of exhibitionist, but this is probably the last thing in the world that I would have ever wanted to happen to me. I was a painfully shy teenager and then all of the sudden I can't wear clothing anymore. Suddenly everybody is staring at me wherever I go. You really stick out like a sore thumb when you are the only one naked."
Everyone looked in the direction of the table where all of Lydia's female friends and relatives were still staring and trying not to look like they were staring.
"Well I certainly wouldn't want to be in that situation," George said. "I think that you are very brave Jarrell."
"I think that it has made me a more compassionate person," Jarrell said. "When everybody is staring at you all the time you sort of have to develop a thick skin to not let it bother you, but I have to admit every day I go to sleep wishing that they would find a cure that I could walk down the street without everybody staring at my naked body. Plus sometimes it gets chilly out!"
Everyone laughed nervously as they smiled awkwardly.
"So what is it like studying to be a virologist?" Ethel asked.
"Well I have to admit it's rather awkward," Jarrell said. "You see the first thing is that I started studying nursing originally, but it was kind of hard to do when most of the nursing staff is female and can't stop staring at you. I realized I was just sort of being a distraction, so I thought it was better to take up something that involved more solitary studying, where I could be out of the public eye. Like I said, I'm no exhibitionist, quite the opposite in fact! A lot of people have a hard time accepting a naked person or taking a naked person seriously. I feel like every time I am giving a speech or something like that everybody is just sort of staring at my body and not listening to my words. I actually got a scholarship to study viruses and I was almost awarded the MacArthur genius grant, but I think that they ended up turning me down simply because they thought of the idea of giving that to a naked guy, well you know how society is. I may be a brilliant person but all they see is a naked guy."
Ethel shook her head. "That's terrible, just terrible. They should have some type of naked scholarship fund to help naked people who are as brilliant as you to make their dreams come true and to contribute to humanity in the way that they want."
As Jarrell continued to make small talk with Lydia's parents Lydia went over to Penelope with a big smile.
"You know I think that they like him," Lydia said. "In fact I think everybody really likes him."
"Well I think everybody likes seeing him naked," Penelope said. "But look at all of your friends and female relatives, they couldn't stop smirking and grinning from ear to ear like horny teens, and some of them couldn't even stay in the room because they couldn't stop laughing about it. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable Jarrell must feel right now?"
"Hey he's used to being naked, he has a thick skin," Lydia said.
"But look at how you are parading him around to all of your friends because you want to say, hey look what I've got, I've got a guy who can't wear clothing and he's really hot!"
"Hey I would feel pretty good about myself if everyone was whistling and hollering at how hot I was."
"You wouldn't last a single day if you wish afflicted with nakedness. I think a lot of people are really uncomfortable about this just like Jarrell is."
Lydia shook her head. "Don't worry, they all know that nakedness isn't contagious, nobody knows what exactly causes it or why some people get it and some people don't. Fortunately it's a very rare disease."
"Which is why it must be so extremely terrible for Jarrell," Penelope said shaking her head. "Not only does he has to deal with systematic racism and being a racial minority, now he has to deal with being, I guess it would be called a sexual minority, having to go naked everywhere. At least people who are naked by choice have chosen that lifestyle, Jarrell just had this forced on him and has to deal with it every single day. You have no idea the struggles that the naked have to endure."
"Well I'm going to learn," Lydia said. "In fact by dating Jarrell I think that I'm going to help him to come out of his shell a bit and realize that he shouldn't have to hide his nudity from the world in order to feel comfortable."
"You just like the idea of everybody seeing you with an attractive naked guy following you around everywhere. To you he is nothing more than arm candy."
"But that's not true at all, I want to get to know every aspect of him, not just the fact that he is a really hot naked guy with an enormous cock that he can't hide from the world."
Penelope shook her head. "I really hope so Lydia, I really want to believe that you have Jarrell's best intentions and interests in mind, but I think that you are just getting off on the power trip of going around in that really expensive outfit of yours while your boyfriend has to follow you around naked."
"Look he's getting along great with my parents, and my family and friends all seem to like him, as evidenced by all of the phones that I heard clicking pictures as soon as he came into the room."
Penelope shook her head. "Do you think a shy bashful guy likes the idea of a bunch of women that he doesn't know taking naked pictures of him?"
Jarrell started going to mingle with some of the other women that Lydia had invited, so Lydia thought it was the perfect time to go see her parents in private.
"So mom and dad, what did you think of him?" Lydia said with a smile. "Isn't he a really great guy?"
"He's a very lovely and intelligent man," Ethel said as George nodded in agreement but they sort of looked at each other uncomfortably.
"But –" Lydia said as she could realize that they were doing a lot of nonverbal communication at the moment.
"You know that we will be happy for you whoever you choose to spend your life with or to go on a date with, but haven't you worried what society is going to think about you two being together?" George asked.
"You're not saying that you are saying that I should stop dating Jarrell just because he's –"
"Of course not!" Ethel said. "You know we have no problem with nudity whatsoever. But in this society that we live in people are going to judge you. People are going to say look at that girl with the naked guy on her arm. They're going to think that maybe you are some type of sex pervert or something like that. It is really uncommon for naked people and non-naked people to have a relationship together, they live in different worlds."
"Mom I can't believe you, after everything you taught me, you are saying that we should segregate," Lydia said.
"No, I don't think that's what your mother is saying at all, don't put words into her mouth," George said. "We are certainly not judging your relationship with a naked guy or suggesting that they should be segregated from society like a lot of people suggest. And we certainly don't agree with the people who want to ban relationships and sexual relations between naked and non-naked people, as we know that that is not how the virus spreads."
"All we are saying here is that society still is not as accepting of naked people as they should be," Ethel said. "It's just if you end up getting really serious with this guy have you considered the implications? Everywhere you go he will have to go naked."
"You don't think I'm some pervert just because I am dating a naked guy do you?" Lydia asked. "It's not like he chose to be naked, it's not some type of perverted kink of his, that's just the way he has to go around. He has to go around naked, he doesn't have a choice in the matter, you can't judge a person for something they have no choice of, that would be like judging a person based on the color of their skin. Jarrell doesn't want to be naked, that's just the way he is. In fact he said that he wanted nothing more in the world and to be able to wear clothing. He said one of the saddest things is that he will never be able to wear his father's tuxedo if he gets married one day when he walks his bride down the aisle. Isn't that just terrible?"
Lydia wiped away a tear.
Penelope came over with a smile and put her arm around Lydia. "I was wrong, you do genuinely care about him, I think that now you have realize what he has to go through every day, the harassment and intimidation, all just because he can't wear clothing like everybody else in society."
"Penelope is right," George said shaking his head. "I think that maybe we have been unfair to Jarrell. For too long people have been judged by the clothing on their back rather than the content of their character, and we were judging Jarrell simply because he didn't have clothing, just like we taught you that you should never do. But I guess we raised you too well, we raised you to become a compassionate woman who cares about the marginalized."
"I'm proud of you," Penelope said as she put her arm around Lydia. "I'm sorry I accused you of ever just wanting some naked guy to parade around as arm candy. I can see now that you genuinely care for him and I think that he is a very lucky man. And I'll admit maybe I was a little bit jealous when you bidded on him at that auction that day, but I think that he couldn't have ended up with somebody better than you."
"I heard the whole thing," Jarrell said as they suddenly noticed he was standing there.
"Jarrell!" Lydia said as she turned around and smiled. "Jarrell I know it's not going to be easy dealing with society's judgment, but I have genuine feelings towards you. I don't know where this relationship is going, but no matter where it is going I want to be with you however you are, naked, dressed, whatever. It is the person who is inside that matters most, not what they are wearing or not wearing. Maybe I don't fully understand the naked experience as well as I could, but I hope that you will help me to understand and in time make you feel less uncomfortable about being naked wherever you go."
Jarrell and Lydia hugged and began kissing as everybody in the house started clapping and cheering for them, and a couple of people began whistling, which Penelope thought was probably close to catcalling and was a bit problematic, but at a romantic moment like that it didn't even bother her that much.
One year later.
"I am so honored that you chose me to be your bridesmaid," Penelope said as she spun around in her bridesmaid outfit. "Sorry I didn't mean to make you feel jealous or uncomfortable."
"No I understand you didn't," Lydia said as she stood there completely naked and struggling not to blush. "You have been a close friend and ally through all of this. In fact after Jarrell I don't think anyone has been more supportive than you have been."
The two of them hugged and the feeling of Penelope's bridesmaids dress brushing up against Lydia's naked body filled her with a feeling of jealousy that she could not fully express.
"I mean I just can't believe the irony though," Penelope said trying not to laugh. "Sorry I didn't mean to laugh, but I think that anyone would be shocked at the fact that after you got in a relationship with a naked guy and it got serious and he agreed to marry you, then all the sudden they found a cure for the naked condition but the cure only worked on men. And then you come down with the naked condition and it just turns your entire relationship around in reverse. Isn't it funny how stuff like that happens?"
"It's absolutely hilarious," Lydia said as she hugged Penelope and started crying her eyes out.
Lydia dried her eyes and walked down the aisle blushing profusely the entire time as Lydia led her by the arm down to Jarrell, who was standing there wearing his father's tuxedo and smiling the biggest smile you had ever seen on a person before.
"It really was a match made in heaven," Penelope said as he took out her camera phone and took a photo of Jarrell dressed in his finest outfit with his naked and very brightly blushing bride at his side.
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